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On the Adoption Option

Pour a cup of tea and ponder this take on unconditional love, submitted by Ruffle’s friend, Courtney.

THERE A FEW THINGS IN LIFE that clear my mind and cleanse my soul – my babies falling asleep on my tummy, a good, long run, and washing dishes while gazing out the window to our picturesque country yard; I know I never saw anything so beautiful growing up in the city.

The symbiosis of farm life is amazing to me.  Last Tuesday, while I was washing dishes, my son came running towards the house with a baby chick as the sun came peaking over the barn.  We snuggled her and wondered where her mama must be.  As the day unfolded, we searched and found the chick’s mom tending nine other siblings. Meanwhile, to everyone’s benefit, the chick we found had already been “adopted” by another hen.  The overwhelmed mama of nine chicks scuttled over to check in on her little adventurer and seemed to have a brief conversation with its new mom.

This isn’t the only example we’ve seen of how Mother Nature embraces adoption every day.  This past spring, a very young cat was not ready to mother her only kitten.  In stepped another cat, who’d just had kittens, to nurse that kitten.  The adoptive mother continues to parent the lone kitten today, just as she does her other kittens.  In the barn, hens will sit on a clutch of eggs or raise chicks from any bird in the coop.  And, in the house, my husband’s heart belongs to my sons. Everyone gets what they need with these “adoptions.”  We can learn a lot from Mother Nature.

Over the last 30-40 years, thinking about child adoption has evolved.   The worst  - and often mistaken – assumptions of the ‘old ways’ (that a birth parent doesn’t want their child and that closed adoption makes it all easier to swallow) are a fading memory, and today adoption is based on the shared goal of both parenting parties: to give the child the best possible future.  Adoption gives all parties the best of all worlds when parenting isn’t an option for the expecting parents: the adopted child gets capable parents, the birth parents get to show the ultimate love for their child and admit another person is better equipped to parent, and the adoptive parents get to build their family.

It’s just as nature demonstrates with the most recent adoptions at our farm.  The little lost chick’s first mom had nine other chicks to brood over, and the tenth just got away from her.  The chick’s adoptive mom visits with her first mom regularly, and all is well.  In a simple way, this example of child sharing on the farm demonstrates the beauty of the open adoption movement, which continues the relationship between child and birth parents after the child has been adopted by a capable family.

Open adoption not only surrounds the child with loving people, it also honors the birth mother, whose life is forever changed after carrying her child during pregnancy, regardless of the end result of her parenting role.  Keeping the adoption open acknowledges the emotional impact of women’s response to pregnancy and addresses feelings last a lifetime but that might otherwise go unexamined.  Everybody wins.

Everybody, indeed!  Courtney and her family get the Ruffle stamp of approval as our personal friends! They’re on the journey toward adoption and are hoping personal connections with a like-minded network of friends will connect them with a little one that needs them.  Want to help by spreading the word?  Join their network on facebook to learn more.

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2 Responses to “On the Adoption Option”

  1. adoption is a beautiful thing for everyone involved. great article and adorable baby bird photos!

  2. Sara H. says:
    July 23, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Great article Courtney. We wish you, Dustin, and the boys the best! It will happen when the time is right.

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